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for the second guy i didnt really know how to edit it lol so yall can say which one is better. or if you didnt like anything i can take suggestions too haha about what you like or dont like 
                   

             Yep, He was drunk, dancing around shirtless in my bar.  I called last call over an hour before, but this piece of shit just kept frolicking in a drunken stupor.

          My girlfriend came in, wondering what was taking me so long.  The damn fool began making his moves on my girl.  He grabbed her and slobbered on a wet kiss.

          She shoves him back, but he pulls her again to her.  She slaps him, trying to get him to let her go.  He slaps her back full-force knocking her to the floor.  This was way above my tolerance level for anyone.

     I whipped out my knife and flung it straight at his exposed gut.  With a hard thud, the heavy knife knocked him slightly backwards and the cold steel blade penetrated deep into his gut. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments...ng_skyrim/
This was posted on a r/gaming. I just like it when guys make such jokes about navels being stabbed.

no more santa

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you been nauty?!

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REDHEADS R HOT